PART 1 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…

This month we are diving into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We’ll cover some of the history through the lens of pop culture and try to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.

We’ll wrap the month discussing the battle’s outcome. Join the conversation on social media to be included in our final CHAMPION discussion. Which monster would win in the situation noted? You decide.

BATTLE SYNOPSIS:

Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.

WEEK 1: Zombies

By Jenny Robinson

There are basically three types of zombies: Voodoo, Romero and Infected (or Running). Each have interesting histories and terrors.

It can be argued that the voodoo zombie is the “real” zombie but I disagree. In the 1938 movie White Zombie they were just slaves. Bela Lugosi’s "Murder" Legendre character is more a monster than the actual zombies. Those zombies only did what Murder commanded. Mindless dead controlled by a puppet master (or in this case a Voodoo Priest). Don’t get me wrong, I believe that the old Haitian zombies are fascinating and love how the lore dives deep into the real horrors and history of slavery. The idea of curses and enslavement makes for a horrifying story that may play out in actuality. The 1988 movie Serpent of the Rainbow even loosely dove into one of the more fascinating stores of a real life zombie Clairvius Narcisse. With things we know and tangibly have, voodoo zombies feel plausible. I also love the historical narrative. In these older tales, the zombies kill from being possessed and acting on the will of their master. The evil they inflict all comes down to to how evil the master is. So the question is.... wouldn't the master be the monster here (who is NOT a zombie)?


How do you kill a voodoo zombie? You don't. You kill the master.

Voodoo Zombies made before WW2 were mostly derivative of vampire stories borrowing from Dracula and similar mythology with a romantic overtone (Ouanga -Love Wanga & The Walking Dead both from 1936). During the war you'll find more movies made about Nazi's experimenting with voodoo to create super armies (King of the Zombies - 1941 & Revenge of the Zombies 1943). Movies post WW2 included some form of radiation either by weapons or space (Invisible Invaders & Plan 9 From Outer Space - 1959). There are some overlap in that timeline but I feel noting it does a great job of showing how real life events can effect the zombie lore.

Moving on...I am just going to say it, George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead zombie is the TRUE zombie. On October 1st, 1968 the big screen switched from the old school voodoo slaves to cannibals exposed to radiation from a Venus space probe. This movie makes the nice guy next door into a flesh-eating ghoul. No longer is the need for a master. These "ghouls" function entirely on their own with a simple desire...bite.

One similarity Romero zombies have to Voodoo zombies is that they too are borrowed from Vampires. Night of the Living Dead was influenced (and borrowed) from Richard Matheson's I Am Legend. In the book, the lead Neville is in a world where monsters come out at night. Those monsters are his neighbors, his friends. To this day, people confuse I Am Legend as being a zombie story when in actuality it is 100% a vampire tale. The idea that your neighbor can kill you also stands as a strong parallel.

Night of the Living Dead spawned a ton of sequels, remakes and spin offs. Romero was able to dive into new story directions. Moving into the 1970's, the zombie genre also gained speed feeding off of great horror movies like The Exorcist and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This gave brith to zombie hoards and even "smart" zombies.

The Romero Zombie is pretty simplistic. They are dead. They multiply by biting and killing. They can only be killed by destroying the brain.

BRRRRRAAAAAAINS!!!!!!!

Now we get into the complicated legal stuff. Romero actually co-wrote Night of the Living Dead with John "Jack" Russo. After some legal back-and-forth, Romero lost the rights to "Living Dead" which was awarded to Russo (like Return of the “Living Dead”). As a fan, no one considers Russo's "Living Dead" actually being part of "the dead" series. Romero went on to do the "of the dead" movies. Semantics.


What does that have to do with brains you ask? Russo's director in Return of the Living Dead hinted at the idea that the undead felt the need because it somehow made them feel better by easing their pain. In my honest opinion, I feel that is dumb (sorry!). Romero appears to never be a fan of that idea as well.

The cool part of Romero and his take on the zombie is that he believed that the zombie was not the scariest monster. That title fell on us. This was a huge inspiration for the more recent Robert Kirkman The Walking Dead comic series & AMC show. Kirkman tells a story where the zombies are more incontinent threats over the threat of humans trying to survive. The humans do WAY more damage than a walker ever could. TWD zombie is as close to the old school Romero zombie as you can get. They are not smart. They can't run. They decompose. They have no conscious objective. They just eat. As with all things though, there was some growth. Instead of radiation from space, everyone is already a zombie. Once you die, you always come back. WHOA!

So what happens if you take a Romero Zombie and apply the world as we know it now? Much like the 1940-1950's movies, zombies continue to adapt to the headlines and now we have RUNNING ZOMBIES!

These may be my absolute favorite. Running Zombies are hybrids of Romero Zombies but more advanced.

I blame Danny Boyle.

In 2002 we were introduced to a new apocalyptic world in 28 Days Later. The premiss is that an experimental drug (again much like the 2007 remake of the vampire movie I Am Legend) that channels the reaction of rage is released. The world becomes INFECTED. That single word is the definition of a Running Zombie. With every bite the contagion spreads. Yet, that is not what makes a new “running” zombie it's own. An infection that acts like a virus and urges the host to spread. When you add Rage to this scenario, we now have fast, running and aggressive zombies…OMG.

28 Days Later has by far done the best job with "Running Zombies” to date but there are some honorable mentions. Zack Snyder's 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead would make anyone want to stay home and avoid an Orange Julius. The poorly done 2013 World War Z (lame attempt of an awesome Max Brooks novel) also had this mindset but included a hive mind mentality with swarms and CGI walls of running bitters.

Whether a zombie has a reason or origin story has become secondary. Sometime it's cool to figure out "what happened" when looking into the world of the dead. When it comes down to it though, the game of survival is way more entertaining and scary.

So what did we learn?

VOODOO ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: avoid voodoo priests poisons.

How to KILL a zombie: kill the human master

Weakness: the human master

ROMERO ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: don't get bit.

*Disclaimer: unless we are talking Kirkman's TWD - then you're screwed.

How to KILL a zombie: destroy the brain (double tap when possible)

Weakness: speed, clumsy, decays and may be missing eaten parts

RUNNING ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: don't get bit or don't get infected

How to KILL a zombie: destroy the brain (double tap when possible)

Weakness: still trying to figure that one out YOUZERS!

Conclusion to "A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…"

Zombies have a HUGE advantage: NUMBERS. If that first bite was fatal, you now have 2 zombies who can quickly become 4, then 8 then 16. I don't see the vampire or the werewolf standing a chance if overwhelmed. But then again, can a werewolf be infected? And since the vampire is already dead, does it matter?

Stay tuned for the opposing arguments.

Honorable mentions:

Sean of the Dead 2004 Comedy - Edgar Wright is always right IMHO. This is the classic Romero zombie in a hilarious adventure staring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. "Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil—"Sorry"—grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over."

World War Z 2006 Book - Max Brooks does an awesome job of "where were you when the Zombie Apocalypse happened” as he recounts various stories of the zombie war. The book is nothing like the Brad Pitt movie.

Train to Busan 2016 Horror - I have always been a big fan of Korean horror movies. This one takes the Running Zombie idea and amps it up placing you in a claustrophobic environment of a train to watch how fast one infected becomes many.

Dead of Night Series Books - Jonathan Maberry's series show one of the fast spreading zombie plagues through the eyes of interesting spectators. It's a fast page turner that then links into some of his other great series (Joe Ledger and Rot & Ruin).

Slither 2006 - James Gunn has a way of making serious things funny. Not sure how to categorize this one. Technically a gory horror but has laugh out loud moments. Add in a cast including Nathan Fillion and Michael Rooker, you're guaranteed a good time. Plus it revisits that old "Alien" hive mind idea of those earlier Plan 9 From Outer Space plots.

Planet Terror 2007 - Robert Rodriguez did not disappoint us with his vampires in From Dusk Til Dawn and he stays true in this. Part of the Quentin Tarantino Grindhouse movies, this is all the fun you can expect from a zombie movie. Thumbs up to Rose McGowen's character's gun leg. Awesome.


Wyrmwood 2014 - An Atomic Geekdom favorite. This is zombies meets Mad Max. It has an epic female lead Brooke (played by Bianca Bradey).

Evil Dead 1980 - It's Sam Rami with Bruce Campbell about the book of the Dead. If you haven't seen this, you should ask yourself "what have i done with my life?. It's a must.