By Anthony Caruso
Love Hurts tells the story of Marvin Gable, who has successfully transitioned from a life of crime to a reputable career in real estate. His peaceful existence is disrupted when his ex-lover, Rose, reappears, warning him that his mobster brother, Knuckles, is hunting them both. As they navigate a series of confrontations with various assassins, Marvin must confront his past actions and protect those he cares about.
The film's screenplay is utterly incoherent and lacks any sort of depth at all. While the action scenes are fantastic and legitimately fun, the film's attempts at humor often fall flat and the romance is forced. That said, while the movie lacks meaningful character development, Ke Huy Quan delivers a performance that showcases his charm and likability. However, even his talents and natural charm can't salvage this movie. Ariana DeBose's portrayal of Rose, meanwhile, is completely one-dimensional and a total "Mary Sue". It doesn't help that the chemistry between our two leads is practically non-existent, further detracting from the film's romantic subplot and constantly reminding us how bad it is. The best characters in the movie are Mustafa Shakir's Raven and Lio Tipton's Ashley. Their interactions are legitimately funny and provide brief moments of interest due to the fact the two actors have chemistry and comedic timing. Their scenes, however, are insufficient to compensate for the overall deficiencies in the script.
On top of it all, Love Hurts struggles with tonal inconsistency, attempting to blend action, comedy, and romance without successfully balancing these elements. The film's eighty-three-minute runtime feels prolonged due to its disjointed narrative and lack of engaging content. And don't even get me started on the abrupt and unearned deus ex machina of an ending, which further undermines the lackluster story presented to us.
At the time of my writing this, on February 7, 2025, Love Hurts stands as the year's worst movie. While there are brief moments of entertainment, particularly in the action scenes, they are overshadowed by the film's abundance of flaws. I wouldn't recommend anyone rush to theaters to see this one, and would even advise skipping it when it hits streaming; it's not worth wasting your precious time on.