PART 2 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…
This month we are diving into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We’ll cover some of the history through the lens of pop culture and try to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.
We’ll wrap the month discussing the battle’s outcome. Join the conversation on social media to be included in our final CHAMPION discussion. Which monster would win in the situation noted? You decide.
BATTLE SYNOPSIS:
Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.
WEEK 2: Vampires
By Patrick Nagy
Vampire lore seems to be as old as the mythical ageless beings themselves. The oldest stories can be traced to the middle ages when plague utterly destroyed villages. People often look to explain away the unexplainable with mythical stories of monsters and dark magic. If an entire family died, it must’ve been the undead draining them of their life while feasting on their blood of course! Through time these stories got more pronounced and overlapped true history. There was Elizabeth Báthory bathing in the blood of peasants to retain her eternal youth, notorious succubus Lilith who’s origins go all the way back to the Garden of Eden, and of course the infamous Vlad the Impaler. He’s rumored to have killed his enemies in battle by impaling them on a large stake, while enjoying a meal and dipping his bread in their blood. He must be a vampire right? Vlad is believed to been the inspiration for author Bram Stoker’s 1897 literary classic Dracula.
Archival art depicting Vlad the impaler’s spikes.
Much like zombies, there are different types of vampires. We have all sorts of vampires now. Regal vampires, scary vampires, transforming vampires, shimmering vampires, parasitic vampires, funny vampires, breakfast cereal vampires…the list goes on and on.
Dracula is important because at the turn of the last century motion pictures started to take off. From black & white silent films to IMAX full color blockbusters, Hollywood went crazy for movie monsters and there are none bigger than the Vampire!
The classic Dracula vampire is most commonly known. The role was made famous by Hungarian-American actor Bela Lugosi and then brought to life again and again by the likes of British born actor Christopher Lee. There was even a “Blaxploitation” version called Blackula starring William Marshall. Many years later the Gary Oldman and Francis Ford Coppola brought it back to its bloody roots in their version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
Movies posters of Dracula staring Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee and Gary Oldman
One of the rare and legendary early adaptations on screen was the German vampire movie Nosferatu starring Max Schreck as Count Orlok. What makes this film so unique was after it’s 1922 release, Bram Stoker’s widow sued the producers of the film for being too close to her late husband’s story even though names and locations were changed. The suit ordered all copies be destroyed, yet a few survived and today it is regarded as an influential masterpiece of cinema. In Nosferatu, Count Orlok does not appear to “make” vampires but does kill his victims. This drove home the lore that vampires existed within the shroud of a plague.
Max Schreck as Count Orlok in Nosferaut
The Lost Boys with Kiefer Sutherland and the Corys are loosely based on the Dracula rules. To be apart of gang, you must first drink their blood. Even after drinking though, in order to “become” a vampire you must also feed on human. Plus funny blood suckers in movies like What We Do in the Shadows with Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clements also have similar “no sun, avoid wooden stakes” rules. Heck, there are even movies for vampire hunters like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Blade starring Wesley Snipes.
Billy Wirth as Dwayne, Kiefer Sutherland as David, Brooke McCarter as Paul and Alex Winter as Marko as the vampires in The Lost Boys
On the opposite end of the spectrum we also had teen angst vamps in Twilight starring Robert Pattinson and Christen Stewart. The Twilight vampires have very little similarities to the classic Dracula type. They go to high school (despite being hundreds of years old) and can walk in the sun. They have marble like skin so once once sunlight hits them, instead of burning they sparkle. These type of “blood suckers” are as far away from the scary monsters in the lore. They can turn a human into one of them by a simple venomous bite and live forever. They can also have children who then are vampire hybrids. Oh, and believe-it-or-not, they can be vegetarian.
Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Twilight.
The one that seems to be the outlier is Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend. In his 1954 book, vampires bring back the plague idea and become more the evolutionary infected rather than the Dracula type. This idea brings one of the more modern takes on vampires. The 2009 novels (and later the television series and graphic novels) The Strain by Director Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan takes the more infected I Am Legend hive mind approach. They use long stingers to suck the blood of their victims while transferring a worm into their body. The “Ancients” control them. This is NOT the vampire you’d want to be. This is probably the closest “zombie” like vampire of the group. The vampires aren’t sexy, or even pretty. They can’t fly, or hypnotize, or change into a bat, or even think for themselves.
Will Smith with a vampire in I Am Legend
So to recap:
Folklore Vampires (Elizabeth Báthory, Lilith, Vlad the Impaler)
• Run of the mill tall tales
• Don’t know who caused all this death? Must be a Vampire! (or a Witch)
• Weakness: Dig them up and burn their heart. If that doesn’t work, call a priest!
Dracula Style (Dracula, Nosferatu, The Lost Boys, Interview with a Vampire, True Blood)
• Regal, possibly royal
• All powerful, seductive, can transform, immortal
• Weakness: A wooden stake through the heart, crucifix, holy water, sunlight, killing the master kills the hive
Modern Vampires (Twilight, Discovery of Witches, The Vampire Diaries)
• Slight variations, but mostly still Dracula-esque
• May shimmer in daylight, more lovers than fighters
• Weakness: A broken heart
I Am Legend Vampires (The Strain, Blood Red Sky, Daybreakers)
• Infected
• Weakness: Sunlight, modern weapons, Nuclear bombs to their home soil
"A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…"
Alright, let’s get down to brass tacks. For this battle scenario I’m gonna go with the more “traditional” Hollywood Vampire. The sexy, yet powerful vampire we all grew up with. They’ve been around for hundreds of years, and they’ve seen things. They know how to handle themselves. I see the vampire mostly taking a back seat for the start of the battle and let the Werewolf deal with the current Zombie outbreak. After all werewolves are supposed to be alive and warm blooded so they will attract the brainless undead. Once the werewolves are out of the way, all the vamps have to do is take out what’s left. But then again, what if the sunrise hits and a zombie breaks a window or two? What if the werewolf manages to turn a human to join him? Where are the pool cues?! Who ordered the garlic pizza?!!!!!
Honorable Mentions:
Interview with the Vampire (1994): This movie introduced a larger audience to Anne Rice’s 1976 series where Lestat is a freaking rock star. It also provided a new love for the depressed vampire. It had great character development between Lestat (Tom Cruise) and the sad Louis (Brad Pitt), Also a great introduction to the “interview” style.
Fright Night (1985): Chris Sarandon stars as the mysterious neighbor that may be a vampire. The main character, a teenage boy witnesses a possible murder which of course nobody believes him. So he has to get his favorite TV vampire slayer (Played by Roddy McDowell) to help him. It’s like an 80’s campy Rear Window with vampires.
From Dusk til Dawn (1996): Let’s just say Robert Rodriguez makes some fun stuff. George Clooney as a bad guy vampire slayer and Salma Hayek as a smoking hot striper/vampire. It even has Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Tom Savini and Quentin Tarantino (who wrote the screenplay) to name just a few. WIN!
Let the Right One In (2004 book & 2008 movie): Although Hollywood made a US version, the original Sweedish movie is heartbreaking and terrifying. Eli (Lina Leandersson) and Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant) are spectacular children who have a friendship the world should be afraid of. It makes being a “Renfield” super sad and extremely disturbing.
The Monster Squad (1987): Super fun nostalgic movie for me. Kids trying to make sure the classic Universal Monsters (including Count Dracula) do not take over the world.
Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries (books 2001 - 2013): Although HBO’s True Blood was a fun adaptation of the books, the vampires in the Sookieverse had a few new rules. Like vampire blood was like a drug that can heal but if you were almost out of blood it would turn you. This brought in more of a political world that not all vampire stories tell (aside from Blade and Underworld to name a few).