REVIEW / Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022

By Justin Pomerville (2 Broke Geeks)

There has been great success lately with old horror franchises like Halloween, Candyman, and to an extent, Scream. Each movie getting a new film that is a direct sequel to the original. This direction brings fresh life to the films and an easy introduction to those who have never seen the original. Also, they have added a nice bit of legacy by bringing back past characters (ie: Laurie Strode return in Halloween Kills). This helps for both nostalgia and story purposes. This trend has been a great success but I was curious if they could keep the momentum going with this new Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

As a horror fan, I love it all. I enjoy the good and the bad, the suspense and the gore. Sadly, Texas Chainsaw Massacre suffers from a lot of problems. I am not confident I was the target audience. The only real positive for this film is the gore aspect. An audience that thrives on butchery over plot, this update would most likely be a blast. There are a couple fun kills, but beyond that, this film did nothing to make the franchise and Leatherface stand out for me. It comes down to the story. The whole narrative is a group of entrepreneurs selling off the properties of the town of Harlow (the town that the original story was based). They are ironically looking to build a new, safe community. However, Leatherface has other plans and begins to murder every single person in sight.

Lila (Elsie Fisher), Melody (Sarah Yarkin), Ruth (Nell Hudson and Dante (Jacob Latimore) in Netflix’s 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The script is barely held together with characters that are unlikeable and hard to get behind. The main protagonist is Lila (played by Elsie Fisher). She has an updated and poignant backstory of being a victim of a school shooting. This film really wants you to remember this group's disdain for guns. We don’t know the reason for the shooting until we are halfway through the film. Even after the revolution, it had very little impact to the plot. Everyone else just has cookie-cutter attributes despite having a competent cast. You get the overbearing sister who is obnoxious (for me), but also a local that you are supposed to hate yet end up liking. On top of those characters, they also brought back a legacy character, Sally (played by Olwen Fouéré) from the original film. I was very excited to see the flashback and how a veteran of the original mayhem would handle things today. Unfortunately, she brought nothing substantial to the film. She is misused and under appreciated. She is just another body on the pile. I feel cheated that she was not allowed even a proper showdown with Leatherface.

Sally Hardesty (played by Olwen Fouéré) in Netflix’s 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I believe the other problem with this film is it never felt like a big deal in horror. Halloween, Scream, and Candyman all had huge budgets and theatrical releases (including months of planning and ads) building excitement for their releases. They embraced promoting the return of past characters. As far as Texas Chainsaw Massacre, all I saw in terms of advertisements was one trailer when it was first announced and then forgotten about until the release date. It felt more like an afterthought. After great success with Fear Street and Army of th Dead, I had just expected more from Netflix. I am curious if that impacted the reviews? It appeared everyone online completely forgot this film was coming and thus its reception was lackluster, to say the least.

Leatherface (Mark Burnham) in Netflix’s 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I wish they had put more into this film to give it more substance. As it stands, it is near the bottom of the pile of the Texas Chainsaw franchise, and rightfully so in my opinion. As noted, I know others have enjoyed it, which is appreciable. Woefully, I am not one of them.

Justin's "Not Your Standard" Christmas Movie List

By Justin Pomerville (@justin.pomerville @2bgpod)

Tis’ the season!

We all have our holiday traditions. One of those traditions may be having a favorite holiday film that is a must watch every year. Most people will have classic holiday features like How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Christmas Carol, and The Santa Claus. Others will choose films like Die Hard and Gremlins that you can argue whether or not they are actually Christmas films (but we are not going to open that can of worms). 

There are so many films that surround Christmas to some extent; from the classics, the Rankin/Bass specials, and the huge bin of Hallmark originals. Beyond that, there are also some interesting gems that are Christmas themed that I believe you should know about. One of them might even become your new Christmas tradition film.

Because this is a ME list, the majority of these will be horror films, because….why not?

Of course, this is just a small portion of the plethora of choices.

I would love to hear your thoughts on what other holiday films are a must during the Christmas season.

BETTER WATCH OUT

STARRING: Olivia DeJonge, Levi Miller, Ed Oxenbould, Aleks Mikic, Dacre Montgomery, Patrick Warburton, Virginia Madsen

RELEASE DATE: October 6th, 2017

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Peacock, Amazon Prime, Shudder)

A psychological thriller about a babysitter defending a 12 year old from a home invasion that gets weirder and weirder by the second. 

Levi Miller as Luke in Better Watch Out

ANNA AND THE APOCALYPSE

STARRING: Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming, Sara Swire, Christopher Leveaux, Marli Siu

RELEASE DATE: November 30th, 2018

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD ( Vudu, Pluto TV, Amazon Prime, AppleTV)

A horror/comedy that is basically a musical Shaun of the Dead. A zombie infestation threatens the little town of New Haven during Christmas. Anna and her friends are forced to fight for survival.

Anna (played by Ella Hunt) and John (played by Malcom Cumming) encounter a monster snowman in Anna and the Apocalypse.

FATMAN

STARRING: Mel Gibson, Walton Goggins, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Chance Hurstfield

RELEASE DATE: November 13th, 2020

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Peacock, Amazon Prime, AppleTV)

A very different Santa Claus (played by Mel Gibson) fights to save his failing business. At the same time, a naughty child hires a hitman (played by Walton Goggins) to take the jolly man out for giving him a lump of coal.

Mel Gibson as Santa Claus in Fatman

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE

STARRING: Jorma Tommila, Onni Tommila, Peeter Jakobi, Tommi Korpela, Rauno Juvonen, Per Christian Ellefsen

RELEASE DATE: December 3rd, 2010

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Hulu, Amazon Prime, Shudder, AppleTV)

A secret drilling expedition in northern Finland has caused children to go missing, reindeer being slaughtered, and the appearance of an old feral man. Two boys believe that Santa Clause’s tomb has been unearthed.

Onni Tommila as Pietari Kontio in Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

SANTA’S SLAY

STARRING: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin, Robert Culp, Dave Thomas

RELEASE DATE: January 1st, 2004

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Peacock, Amazon Prime, Vudo, AppleTV)

Santa (played by wrestler Bill Goldberg) is actually a demon that lost a bet with an angel and is forced to bring Christmas cheer around the world. When the bet is off, Santa goes back to his evil ways and spreads Christmas fear.

Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus in Santa’s Slay

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

STARRING: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon

RELEASE DATE: November 14th, 1964

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Amazon Prime, Youtube, Tubi)

Martian Fuler Kimar is unhappy that the children of Mars have become lazy and under the influence of too much pop culture from Earth. In order to hopefully get the children all peppy again, Kimar orders the kidnapping of Santa Claus, in hopes he can help out.

Santa Claus (played by John Call) in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Movie Review / Black Friday

MOVIE: Black Friday

STARRING: Devon Sawa, Ivana Baquero, Ryan Lee, Stephen Peck, Michael Jai White, Bruce Campbell, Louie Kurtzman

RELEASE DATE: November 19th, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH: Theaters / VOD Rental (Amazon, iTunes, Google Play, Vudo)

By Justin Pomerville (2 Broke Geeks)

As we get into the holiday spirit, it’s only fitting that I watch a new “festive” film to get me into the holiday spirit. As someone who works in retail, one of the more horrific days that basically rings in the Christmas season for me is Black Friday. So, it almost felt necessary to watch the new horror/comedy film starring Bruce Campbell that has the same name.

This film feels like a mash-up of Night of the Comet and Night of the Living Dead but with a Christmas theme. The plot is very, very simple; comets crash land inside toy stores and start turning people into undead aliens. They then merge together to become a giant monstrosity. We follow a small group of retail workers and their horrible manager as they try to survive the invasion.

Stephen Peck as Brian and Bruce Campbell as Jonathan in Black Friday

With a very straightforward plot, I was hoping that the main focus would be in solving the mystery of where the aliens came from and the best way to deal with the threat. To an extent, that is what happens. They did seem to focus a little too much on the side plots of the lives of the retail workers which is fine, except the plots don’t feel like they ever have a resolution of some sort.

You have Kevin (played by Devon Sawa) who is a divorcee that got the short end of the stick when it comes to seeing his kids. Marnie (played by Ivana Baqeuro) is Kevin’s love interest. We also have Chris (played by Ryan Lee) who is a germaphobe whose father is not proud of him. Although we have these storylines, it really focuses on Kevin and how everything just keeps coming up short for him. It never really hits, mainly because of how the whole invasion plays out.

Marnie played by Ivana Baquero and Devon Sawa as Ken in Black Friday

Practical monster effects and gory were pretty decent in this film. There is one monster that kind of looks like The Blob from the 1988 remake, but these aliens felt like cannon fodder overall and second fiddle throughout the film. In my opinion, there wasn’t even a scary scene throughout the film. That’s why this was geared more as a comedy/horror, right? Unfortunately, the comedy feel pretty short as well. The majority of the comedy comes from Johnathan (played by Bruce Campbell), the terrible manager. Bruce plays the role like most of his roles; cocky and dumb. That works in some roles, but in this movie, it feels he was just a name to get people to run to the theater.

With all that said, it was exactly what I needed to recover from the real retail Black Friday (which isn’t too far off sometimes to the movie Black Friday). It’s a mindless fun popcorn movie. Enjoy!

Practical Effects in Black Friday

Movie Review / Lamb

MOVIE: Lamb

STARRING: Noomi Rapace, Hilmir Snær Guðnason, Björn Hlynur Haraldsson, Ingvar Sigurdsson

RELEASE DATE: October 8th, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH: Theaters / VOD Rental (Amazon Prime, Apple, Google Play, YouTube, AMC On Demand)

By Justin Pomerville (2 Broke Geeks)

I have been watching a good amount of A24 films and have shared my praises for films like “Midsommar”, “The Lighthouse”, and most recently, “The Green Knight” (Go read that review HERE if you haven’t yet). This company has a very successful track record of making some of the most interesting films in the last couple of years. However, I do recognize that they are not all great films. Examples that come to mind are The Death of Dick Long and Slice.

Unfortunately, “Lamb” falls into that category.

Noomi Rapace n LAMB

Directed by Valdimar Jóhannsson, Lamb is the story of a childless couple on rural island that come across the weirdest discovery in their sheep barn, a sheep giving birth to a hybrid lamb/human child. They decide to raise her as their own. They give her the name Ada. In all honesty, that’s 90% of the film. Just a couple raising their “child”. This film is labeled as a horror/fantasy piece and I’m sure that someone out there might find the horror of this story, but it doesn’t actually set in till the last 15 minutes of the film.

This film has a run time of 1 hour and 46 minutes and the majority of that time is literally this couple going about their daily lives, while also caring for Ada. From the get go, they recognize her as different for a total of about 10 minutes. The movie only takes a moment before it turns it around as “this is our child now” and they go back to their normal lives. To me, this just doesn’t work. How are these guys not freaking out over it? How come they are not calling anyone? It doesn’t feel natural.

There is a scene where the mother visits a grave that has the name “Ada” on it, so I assume that maybe they did have a child at one point so this new Ada is a coping mechanism. It’s not addressed at all, so the whole act feels hollow and forced. They add some drama as the husband’s brother comes to visit and there is an implication that he had an affair with the wife. However, the problem seems to solve itself in a matter of 20 minutes.

Scene from LAMB

I said this film is labeled as a horror film, and honestly, the trailers made it feel way more horror than what it actually was. Like I said before, the only “horror” comes at the end of the film. It’s an interesting twist for sure, but overall, feels weirdly thrown in.

Overall, this film had an interesting idea, but fell short on what it was trying to accomplish. I give it praise for its interesting usage of making Ada come to life, but beyond that, this film felt like it needed more substance than what was delivered. All the problems felt like after thoughts to the main story of a grieving family that were giving this “gift”, but was it really a gift?

I give this film a 2 out of 5.

CLASH OF THE MONSTERS - WEEK #4 / THE CONCLUSION

PART 4 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…

This month we dove into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We covered some of the history through the lens of pop culture and tried to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.

We now discuss the battle’s outcome. Did your monster win?

BATTLE SYNOPSIS:

Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.

THE CONCLUSION:

We had a blast hearing everyone’s predictions on who would win our Clash of the Monsters. The scenarios that were shared makes for some really great fight directions.

We also apologize for not including the Energy Vampire. We loved the argument that if Colin Robinson was in the bar, the fight would have never happened in the first place. As we have seen in What We Do in the Shadows, he can drain pretty much anything (co-workers, vampires, even trolls). You would have a very boring bar. 

Mark Proksch as Colin Robinson in What We Do In The Shadows FX

What We Do in the Shadows had a few honorable mentions. One of our favorites was that the vampire would win because it was Laszlo Cravensworth all along. He’ll yell “BAT” and fly up to the ceiling to avoid the action. Once things died out, you’d find him settle behind the bar as “just your average neighborhood bartender Jackie Daytona.” Add in the fact of him being dead, zombies couldn’t detect. Laszlo for the win?

Matt Berry as Laszlo Cravensworth aka Jackie Daytona in What We Do In The Shadows FX

Not so fast, if the ceilings were low, the War Wolf could just knock our pal down.

In the beginning, it seemed Zombies were a guarantee. With the modern zombie being able to spread so quickly, the vampire and werewolf would become overwhelmed. One zombie becomes two, two become four, four becomes eight, and so on. In researching the history of the living dead, I was sure they’d be the winner(s).  Things to think about though… In Shaun of the Dead, Shaun, Ed and team were able to win the zombie fight at the Winchester. Another plus is cue sticks would work against the vampire as well. People win?

Kate Ashfield as Liz, Simon Pegg as Shaun and Nick Frost as Ed in Shaun of the Dead

Then again, a vampire has years of experience and would most likely avoid and out smart them. 

Vampire Clean up at Fangtasia in True Blood (Kristin Bauer van Straten as Vampire Pam, Alexander Skarsgård as Vampire Eric, Stephen Moyer as Vampire Bill and Tara Buck as Ginger)

Werewolves were originally thought to be the big losers. Other than strength, they didn’t bring much to the table. They are still alive so could be detected by zombies but could they actually be infected? Much like vampires, they also have fast healing. Justin decided to go with War Wolves and the predictions started to change yet again.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

The conclusion comes down to simple numbers vs brains and strength. 

Zombies have the numbers, werewolves the strength and vampires the strategic knowledge. 

From our poles: 

Zombies: 17%

Werewolves 25%

Vampires: 58%

THE WINNER IS…. VAMPIRES!

CLASH OF THE MONSTERS - WEEK #3 / WEREWOLVES

PART 3 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…

This month we are diving into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We’ll cover some of the history through the lens of pop culture and try to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.

We’ll wrap the month discussing the battle’s outcome. Join the conversation on social media to be included in our final CHAMPION discussion. Which monster would win in the situation noted? You decide.

BATTLE SYNOPSIS:

Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.

WEEK 3: Werewolves

By Justin Pomerville

Werewolves' earliest origins seem to come from Greek mythology with The Legend of Lycaon. The story goes that Lycaon angered Zeus when he served him a meal made of the remains of a sacrificed boy. Zeus was so angry with this trick, that he turned Lycaon and his sons into wolves. In Nordic folklore, there’s a story called The Saga of the Volsungs which is about a father and son that discovered wolf pelts that had the power to turn people into wolves for 10 days. When the father and son put the pelts on, they went on killing rampages in the forest. The two only stopped when the father turns on the son and attacks him.

Throughout the centuries, there have been all sorts of these kind of stories about werewolves. In the 1700’s, we found a possible medical explanations for those who are accused of being werewolves. Science pointed towards food poisoning, rabies, hallucinations (from consuming herbs), and/or hypertrichosis (a rare genetic disorder that causes excessive hair growth).

Zeus turning Lycaon into a wolf; 1589 engraving by Hendrick Goltzius

Werewolves made their film debut in 1913 in a silent short film called The Werewolf. The film followed a Navajo woman who becomes a witch and teaches her daughter how to transform into a wolf to seek vengeance. Sadly, the film was lost in a fire in 1924. The first mainstream werewolf film was 1941’s Wolf Man, starring Lon Chaney Jr. and is considered the blueprint for future werewolf films over the years.

Lon Chaney Jr. and Evelyn Ankers in the 1941 movie The Wolfman

As talked about with the zombies and vampires, there are four different types of werewolves that have significant strides to adding to the lore of werewolves within media:

War-Wolf: Seen in films like The Howling, Dog Soldiers, and The Underworld series, these are the menacing wolves that dominated the 80’s horror scene. Characteristics of these monsters were that they didn’t have tails, had black or grey fur, usually stood about 7’ tall, fueled by rage, long fingers and claws, and can transform at will.

Action scene from 2002’s Dog Soldiers movie

Quadruped Wolf: Seen in The Twilight series and An American Werewolf in London are giant wolves. They don’t stand upright and are not as resilient as their war cousins. Characteristics include being 7’ long from tail to snout, have some self-awareness and rage control, black, brown, or grey fur, prefer biting attacks, and long whip like tails.

The fully transformed werewolf in American Werewolf in London

Pug Wolf: Seen in The Wolfman, Penny Dreadful, Teen Wolf, and Grimm, these are the ones that are more human like. These are the types that are used in most TV shows because they are easily made with prosthetics. Characteristics for them are obvious with the more human stature, elongated ears, long canine teeth, retaining most human self-awareness and control, slight snouts, prefer slashing attacks, least likely to kill their victims or turn them into werewolves, and some fur covering.

Michael J. Fox in 1985’s Teen Wolf

Full Wolf: Seen in True Blood, Wolf, and Wolfen, these ones are pretty self-explanatory. These guys are the most fragile of the bunch. However, they are the most dangerous when in packs, especially if you are a different type of werewolf. If a Full Wolf attacks and wounds any of the other kinds of werewolves, those wolves cannot heal from those wounds.

True Blood werewolf

The weakness of werewolves are all pretty universal. Silver bullets are your best bet to take any of these guys down, but it will take a couple shots. You can also remove their head or heart. Another weakness is that you can turn them on each other, as explained previously in the Full Wolves bio. They don’t play very well with each other. Probably the easiest way to kill a werewolf is to destroy the “human form” because it’s just a person. Easy target, unless they are some sort of specialist in some sort of combat.

Conclusion to "A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…" 

It really depends on the type of werewolves that get locked in. Best bet would be a War Wolf because of the ruthless rage. That would be the greatest asset as well as not needing the moon in order to turn (which wouldn’t matter in this case). The other three would not have a chance in this scenario. When it comes to zombies, they can just rip them apart. And not being held back by the moon, they have more of an advantage with strength against vampires.

Honorable mentions:

Teen Wolf 1985 (noted above) Comedy/Fantasy Michael J. Fox is a high school nerd that finds out he’s a werewolf and decides to use those attributes for basketball. It’s totally what I would do.

Werewolves Within 2021 Comedy/Horror A very creative film that is basically Clue with a werewolf twist. Very funny and creative fun cast of mostly up-and-coming actors.

Silver Bullet 1985 Horror Based on Stephen King’s novel Cycle of the Werewolf, not the strongest film, it does have a memorable performance by Gary Busey.

Trick ‘R Treat 2007 Horror Although this movie is more of an anthology film, the section with werewolves is probably some of the best modern usage of the creature.

CLASH OF THE MONSTERS - WEEK #2 / VAMPIRES

PART 2 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…

This month we are diving into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We’ll cover some of the history through the lens of pop culture and try to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.

We’ll wrap the month discussing the battle’s outcome. Join the conversation on social media to be included in our final CHAMPION discussion. Which monster would win in the situation noted? You decide.

BATTLE SYNOPSIS:

Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.

WEEK 2: Vampires

By Patrick Nagy

Vampire lore seems to be as old as the mythical ageless beings themselves. The oldest stories can be traced to the middle ages when plague utterly destroyed villages. People often look to explain away the unexplainable with mythical stories of monsters and dark magic. If an entire family died, it must’ve been the undead draining them of their life while feasting on their blood of course! Through time these stories got more pronounced and overlapped true history. There was Elizabeth Báthory bathing in the blood of peasants to retain her eternal youth, notorious succubus Lilith who’s origins go all the way back to the Garden of Eden, and of course the infamous Vlad the Impaler.  He’s rumored to have killed his enemies in battle by impaling them on a large stake, while enjoying a meal and dipping his bread in their blood. He must be a vampire right? Vlad is believed to been the inspiration for author Bram Stoker’s 1897 literary classic Dracula.

Archival art depicting Vlad the impaler’s spikes.

Much like zombies, there are different types of vampires. We have all sorts of vampires now. Regal vampires, scary vampires, transforming vampires, shimmering vampires, parasitic vampires, funny vampires, breakfast cereal vampires…the list goes on and on.

Dracula is important because at the turn of the last century motion pictures started to take off. From black & white silent films to IMAX full color blockbusters, Hollywood went crazy for movie monsters and there are none bigger than the Vampire!

The classic Dracula vampire is most commonly known. The role was made famous by Hungarian-American actor Bela Lugosi and then brought to life again and again by the likes of British born actor Christopher Lee. There was even a “Blaxploitation” version called Blackula starring William Marshall. Many years later the Gary Oldman and Francis Ford Coppola brought it back to its bloody roots in their version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. 

Movies posters of Dracula staring Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee and Gary Oldman

One of the rare and legendary early adaptations on screen was the German vampire movie Nosferatu starring Max Schreck as Count Orlok. What makes this film so unique was after it’s 1922 release, Bram Stoker’s widow sued the producers of the film for being too close to her late husband’s story even though names and locations were changed. The suit ordered all copies be destroyed, yet a few survived and today it is regarded as an influential masterpiece of cinema. In Nosferatu, Count Orlok does not appear to “make” vampires but does kill his victims. This drove home the lore that vampires existed within the shroud of a plague. 

Max Schreck as Count Orlok in Nosferaut

The Lost Boys with Kiefer Sutherland and the Corys are loosely based on the Dracula rules. To be apart of gang, you must first drink their blood. Even after drinking though, in order to “become” a vampire you must also feed on human. Plus funny blood suckers in movies like What We Do in the Shadows with Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clements also have similar “no sun, avoid wooden stakes” rules. Heck, there are even movies for vampire hunters like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Blade starring Wesley Snipes.

Billy Wirth as Dwayne, Kiefer Sutherland as David, Brooke McCarter as Paul and Alex Winter as Marko as the vampires in The Lost Boys

On the opposite end of the spectrum we also had teen angst vamps in Twilight starring Robert Pattinson and Christen Stewart. The Twilight vampires have very little similarities to the classic Dracula type. They go to high school (despite being hundreds of years old) and can walk in the sun. They have marble like skin so once once sunlight hits them, instead of burning they sparkle. These type of “blood suckers” are as far away from the scary monsters in the lore. They can turn a human into one of them by a simple venomous bite and live forever. They can also have children who then are vampire hybrids. Oh, and believe-it-or-not, they can be vegetarian. 

Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Twilight.

The one that seems to be the outlier is Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend. In his 1954 book, vampires bring back the plague idea and become more the evolutionary infected rather than the Dracula type. This idea brings one of the more modern takes on vampires. The 2009 novels (and later the television series and graphic novels) The Strain by Director Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan takes the more infected I Am Legend hive mind approach. They use long stingers to suck the blood of their victims while transferring a worm into their body.  The “Ancients” control them. This is NOT the vampire you’d want to be. This is probably the closest “zombie” like vampire of the group. The vampires aren’t sexy, or even pretty. They can’t fly, or hypnotize, or change into a bat, or even think for themselves.

Will Smith with a vampire in I Am Legend

So to recap:

Folklore Vampires (Elizabeth Báthory, Lilith, Vlad the Impaler)

• Run of the mill tall tales

• Don’t know who caused all this death? Must be a Vampire! (or a Witch)

• Weakness: Dig them up and burn their heart. If that doesn’t work, call a priest!

Dracula Style (Dracula, Nosferatu, The Lost Boys, Interview with a Vampire, True Blood)

• Regal, possibly royal

• All powerful, seductive, can transform, immortal

• Weakness: A wooden stake through the heart, crucifix, holy water, sunlight, killing the master kills the hive

Modern Vampires (Twilight, Discovery of Witches, The Vampire Diaries)

• Slight variations, but mostly still Dracula-esque

• May shimmer in daylight, more lovers than fighters

• Weakness: A broken heart

I Am Legend Vampires (The Strain, Blood Red Sky, Daybreakers)

• Infected

• Weakness: Sunlight, modern weapons, Nuclear bombs to their home soil

"A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…" 
Alright, let’s get down to brass tacks. For this battle scenario I’m gonna go with the more “traditional” Hollywood Vampire. The sexy, yet powerful vampire we all grew up with. They’ve been around for hundreds of years, and they’ve seen things. They know how to handle themselves. I see the vampire mostly taking a back seat for the start of the battle and let the Werewolf deal with the current Zombie outbreak. After all werewolves are supposed to be alive and warm blooded so they will attract the brainless undead. Once the werewolves are out of the way, all the vamps have to do is take out what’s left. But then again, what if the sunrise hits and a zombie breaks a window or two? What if the werewolf manages to turn a human to join him? Where are the pool cues?! Who ordered the garlic pizza?!!!!!

Honorable Mentions:

Interview with the Vampire (1994): This movie introduced a larger audience to Anne Rice’s 1976 series where Lestat is a freaking rock star. It also provided a new love for the depressed vampire. It had great character development between Lestat (Tom Cruise) and the sad Louis (Brad Pitt), Also a great introduction to the “interview” style.

Fright Night (1985): Chris Sarandon stars as the mysterious neighbor that may be a vampire.  The main character, a teenage boy witnesses a possible murder which of course nobody believes him. So he has to get his favorite TV vampire slayer (Played by Roddy McDowell) to help him.  It’s like an 80’s campy Rear Window with vampires.

From Dusk til Dawn (1996): Let’s just say Robert Rodriguez makes some fun stuff.  George Clooney as a bad guy vampire slayer and Salma Hayek as a smoking hot striper/vampire. It even has Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Tom Savini and Quentin Tarantino (who wrote the screenplay) to name just a few. WIN!

Let the Right One In (2004 book & 2008 movie): Although Hollywood made a US version, the original Sweedish movie is heartbreaking and terrifying.  Eli (Lina Leandersson) and Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant) are spectacular children who have a friendship the world should be afraid of.  It makes being a “Renfield” super sad and extremely disturbing.

The Monster Squad (1987): Super fun nostalgic movie for me. Kids trying to make sure the classic Universal Monsters (including Count Dracula) do not take over the world.

Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries (books 2001 - 2013): Although HBO’s True Blood was a fun adaptation of the books, the vampires in the Sookieverse had a few new rules. Like vampire blood was like a drug that can heal but if you were almost out of blood it would turn you. This brought in more of a political world that not all vampire stories tell (aside from Blade and Underworld to name a few). 

CLASH OF THE MONSTERS - WEEK #1 / ZOMBIES

PART 1 of 4 - A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…

This month we are diving into the love, fascination and strength of some classic monsters. We’ll cover some of the history through the lens of pop culture and try to wrap our head around the “rules” of each as we determine why each are so nightmarish.

We’ll wrap the month discussing the battle’s outcome. Join the conversation on social media to be included in our final CHAMPION discussion. Which monster would win in the situation noted? You decide.

BATTLE SYNOPSIS:

Its 9pm on a Saturday in October. The full moon is bright. A small corner bar in a hip area of town is super busy. Patrons crowd the bar for a drink. On one side near the entrance sits a vampire. Across the bar you find a werewolf, in the center, a zombie. The fight starts when the zombie turns and takes a fatal bite from a local…and the vampire locks the door.

WEEK 1: Zombies

By Jenny Robinson

There are basically three types of zombies: Voodoo, Romero and Infected (or Running). Each have interesting histories and terrors.

It can be argued that the voodoo zombie is the “real” zombie but I disagree. In the 1938 movie White Zombie they were just slaves. Bela Lugosi’s "Murder" Legendre character is more a monster than the actual zombies. Those zombies only did what Murder commanded. Mindless dead controlled by a puppet master (or in this case a Voodoo Priest). Don’t get me wrong, I believe that the old Haitian zombies are fascinating and love how the lore dives deep into the real horrors and history of slavery. The idea of curses and enslavement makes for a horrifying story that may play out in actuality. The 1988 movie Serpent of the Rainbow even loosely dove into one of the more fascinating stores of a real life zombie Clairvius Narcisse. With things we know and tangibly have, voodoo zombies feel plausible. I also love the historical narrative. In these older tales, the zombies kill from being possessed and acting on the will of their master. The evil they inflict all comes down to to how evil the master is. So the question is.... wouldn't the master be the monster here (who is NOT a zombie)?

White Zombie - 1938


How do you kill a voodoo zombie? You don't. You kill the master.

Voodoo Zombies made before WW2 were mostly derivative of vampire stories borrowing from Dracula and similar mythology with a romantic overtone (Ouanga -Love Wanga & The Walking Dead both from 1936). During the war you'll find more movies made about Nazi's experimenting with voodoo to create super armies (King of the Zombies - 1941 & Revenge of the Zombies 1943). Movies post WW2 included some form of radiation either by weapons or space (Invisible Invaders & Plan 9 From Outer Space - 1959). There are some overlap in that timeline but I feel noting it does a great job of showing how real life events can effect the zombie lore.

Tor Johnson as Inspector Clay in Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space

Moving on...I am just going to say it, George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead zombie is the TRUE zombie. On October 1st, 1968 the big screen switched from the old school voodoo slaves to cannibals exposed to radiation from a Venus space probe. This movie makes the nice guy next door into a flesh-eating ghoul. No longer is the need for a master. These "ghouls" function entirely on their own with a simple desire...bite.

George A. Romero & John Russo’s Night of the Living Dead

One similarity Romero zombies have to Voodoo zombies is that they too are borrowed from Vampires. Night of the Living Dead was influenced (and borrowed) from Richard Matheson's I Am Legend. In the book, the lead Neville is in a world where monsters come out at night. Those monsters are his neighbors, his friends. To this day, people confuse I Am Legend as being a zombie story when in actuality it is 100% a vampire tale. The idea that your neighbor can kill you also stands as a strong parallel.

Night of the Living Dead spawned a ton of sequels, remakes and spin offs. Romero was able to dive into new story directions. Moving into the 1970's, the zombie genre also gained speed feeding off of great horror movies like The Exorcist and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This gave brith to zombie hoards and even "smart" zombies.

The Romero Zombie is pretty simplistic. They are dead. They multiply by biting and killing. They can only be killed by destroying the brain.

BRRRRRAAAAAAINS!!!!!!!

Now we get into the complicated legal stuff. Romero actually co-wrote Night of the Living Dead with John "Jack" Russo. After some legal back-and-forth, Romero lost the rights to "Living Dead" which was awarded to Russo (like Return of the “Living Dead”). As a fan, no one considers Russo's "Living Dead" actually being part of "the dead" series. Romero went on to do the "of the dead" movies. Semantics.


What does that have to do with brains you ask? Russo's director in Return of the Living Dead hinted at the idea that the undead felt the need because it somehow made them feel better by easing their pain. In my honest opinion, I feel that is dumb (sorry!). Romero appears to never be a fan of that idea as well.

The cool part of Romero and his take on the zombie is that he believed that the zombie was not the scariest monster. That title fell on us. This was a huge inspiration for the more recent Robert Kirkman The Walking Dead comic series & AMC show. Kirkman tells a story where the zombies are more incontinent threats over the threat of humans trying to survive. The humans do WAY more damage than a walker ever could. TWD zombie is as close to the old school Romero zombie as you can get. They are not smart. They can't run. They decompose. They have no conscious objective. They just eat. As with all things though, there was some growth. Instead of radiation from space, everyone is already a zombie. Once you die, you always come back. WHOA!

Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead - Issue 24 / Robert Kirkman + Charlie Adler

So what happens if you take a Romero Zombie and apply the world as we know it now? Much like the 1940-1950's movies, zombies continue to adapt to the headlines and now we have RUNNING ZOMBIES!

These may be my absolute favorite. Running Zombies are hybrids of Romero Zombies but more advanced.

I blame Danny Boyle.

In 2002 we were introduced to a new apocalyptic world in 28 Days Later. The premiss is that an experimental drug (again much like the 2007 remake of the vampire movie I Am Legend) that channels the reaction of rage is released. The world becomes INFECTED. That single word is the definition of a Running Zombie. With every bite the contagion spreads. Yet, that is not what makes a new “running” zombie it's own. An infection that acts like a virus and urges the host to spread. When you add Rage to this scenario, we now have fast, running and aggressive zombies…OMG.

Cillian Murphy as Jim in 28 Days Later

28 Days Later has by far done the best job with "Running Zombies” to date but there are some honorable mentions. Zack Snyder's 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead would make anyone want to stay home and avoid an Orange Julius. The poorly done 2013 World War Z (lame attempt of an awesome Max Brooks novel) also had this mindset but included a hive mind mentality with swarms and CGI walls of running bitters.

Hive attack in World War Z

Whether a zombie has a reason or origin story has become secondary. Sometime it's cool to figure out "what happened" when looking into the world of the dead. When it comes down to it though, the game of survival is way more entertaining and scary.

So what did we learn?

VOODOO ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: avoid voodoo priests poisons.

How to KILL a zombie: kill the human master

Weakness: the human master

ROMERO ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: don't get bit.

*Disclaimer: unless we are talking Kirkman's TWD - then you're screwed.

How to KILL a zombie: destroy the brain (double tap when possible)

Weakness: speed, clumsy, decays and may be missing eaten parts

RUNNING ZOMBIES

How to NOT be a zombie: don't get bit or don't get infected

How to KILL a zombie: destroy the brain (double tap when possible)

Weakness: still trying to figure that one out YOUZERS!

Conclusion to "A Zombie, Werewolf and Vampire walk into a bar…"

Zombies have a HUGE advantage: NUMBERS. If that first bite was fatal, you now have 2 zombies who can quickly become 4, then 8 then 16. I don't see the vampire or the werewolf standing a chance if overwhelmed. But then again, can a werewolf be infected? And since the vampire is already dead, does it matter?

Stay tuned for the opposing arguments.

Honorable mentions:

Sean of the Dead 2004 Comedy - Edgar Wright is always right IMHO. This is the classic Romero zombie in a hilarious adventure staring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. "Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil—"Sorry"—grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over."

World War Z 2006 Book - Max Brooks does an awesome job of "where were you when the Zombie Apocalypse happened” as he recounts various stories of the zombie war. The book is nothing like the Brad Pitt movie.

Train to Busan 2016 Horror - I have always been a big fan of Korean horror movies. This one takes the Running Zombie idea and amps it up placing you in a claustrophobic environment of a train to watch how fast one infected becomes many.

Dead of Night Series Books - Jonathan Maberry's series show one of the fast spreading zombie plagues through the eyes of interesting spectators. It's a fast page turner that then links into some of his other great series (Joe Ledger and Rot & Ruin).

Slither 2006 - James Gunn has a way of making serious things funny. Not sure how to categorize this one. Technically a gory horror but has laugh out loud moments. Add in a cast including Nathan Fillion and Michael Rooker, you're guaranteed a good time. Plus it revisits that old "Alien" hive mind idea of those earlier Plan 9 From Outer Space plots.

Planet Terror 2007 - Robert Rodriguez did not disappoint us with his vampires in From Dusk Til Dawn and he stays true in this. Part of the Quentin Tarantino Grindhouse movies, this is all the fun you can expect from a zombie movie. Thumbs up to Rose McGowen's character's gun leg. Awesome.


Wyrmwood 2014 - An Atomic Geekdom favorite. This is zombies meets Mad Max. It has an epic female lead Brooke (played by Bianca Bradey).

Evil Dead 1980 - It's Sam Rami with Bruce Campbell about the book of the Dead. If you haven't seen this, you should ask yourself "what have i done with my life?. It's a must.

Movie Review / Guilt, Grief and Self-Hatred: How three new female-directed horror films intersect

1 ) Saint Maud

DIRECTOR: Rose Glass

STARRING: Morfydd Clark, Caoilfhionn Dunne, Jennifer Ehle, Marcus Hutton, Carl Prekopp, Lily Frazer, Lily Knight

RELEASE DATE: January 29th, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH (as of August 2021): Hulu

2 ) Censor

DIRECTOR: Prano Bailey Bond

STARRING: Niamh Algar, Michael Smiley, Nicholas Burns, Vincent franklin, SophiaLa Porta, Adrian Schiller

RELEASE DATE: June 11th, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH (as of August 2021): Amazon Prime Video (rental)

3 ) The Stylist

DIRECTOR: Jill Gevargizian

STARRING: Najarra Townsend, Jennifer Seward, Lindsay Solomon, Angela Dupuie, Brea Grant, Davis DeRock

RELEASE DATE: February 21st, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH (as of August 2021): Amazon Prime Video (rental)

by Dave Palamaro

The protagonist as the outcast/anti-hero used to be mostly the realm of male film directors (think Taxi Driver, Joker, Fight Club, Goodfellas etc.). But three new female horror directors are showing audiences that complex, emotionally damaged main characters need not be gender specific. Thank God for that because their films (Saint Maud, Censor and The Stylist) are a revelation.

***SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SAINT MAUD, CENSOR AND THE STYLIST***

Disturbed Heroes

Saint Maud, Censor and The Stylist all have one major element in common: they showcase female lead characters that are emotionally damaged, socially distant and possibly a danger to themselves or others. Where these characters differ, however, is why each of them reached such a state.

(Morfyd Clark plays Maud in Saint Maud)

In Saint Maud, directed by Rose Glass, Maud (played by Morfyd Clark) is a young nurse who experienced a traumatic event in her past that cost a patient their life. She blames herself for this death since the patient was in her care at the time. The shock and guilt she feels spins Maud out of her normal orbit and into a self-imposed extreme form of catholicism.

(Julie Ehle in Saint Maud)

She finds a new patient to save in terminal cancer victim Amanda (played by Julie Ehle). Saving Amanda’s soul soon becomes Maud’s mission. She believes that converting Amanda to catholicism before she succumbs to her cancer will make up for her failing to save the life of her previous patient. But Maud’s methods for this would-be salvation turn out to be...well, extreme.

(Niamh Algar as Enid in Censor)

Prano Bailey Bond’s Censor, Enid (Niamh Algar) is a seemingly emotionally healthy young woman. She works as a film censor in 1980’s England and spends her days watching endless “video nasties” (British horror films from the 1980’s). Her job is to determine which of these horror films are fit for public consumption, and if they are, which parts of the movies to cut out.

All seems normal until we meet her parents. We discover that Enid’s sister went missing years ago. It turns out that Enid blames herself for the disappearance of her sibling because she was with her sister when it happened. Enid’s parents want to move on and forget about their lost child (even presenting their missing daughter’s death certificate to Enid at dinner).

But Enid, not so much. She believes that her sister is out there somewhere and nothing her parents do will shake her from this belief.

(Niamh Algar in Censor)

Clearly, Enid’s personal mission is to find her lost sister. At some point she thinks she sees her sister (now an adult) in one of the “video nasties” she’s evaluating for work.

From that point on, any good intentions Enid has to locate her lost sibling quickly turns into an unhealthy obsession.

(Najarra Townsend plays Claire the stylist in The Stylist)

Unlike Maud or Enid, Claire (Najarra Townsend) in The Stylist isn’t given a reason (at least on-screen) as to why she is so damaged.

Director/writer Jill Gevargizian shows us who Claire really is in the very first scene.

Claire is a hair stylist who drugs and surgically scalps her clients. She then uses their hair as a macabre wig to act out her fantasies of being other people. In this way, Claire can be anyone she chooses. Anyone but herself. Why does she do this?

In several scenes it is very clear that Claire hates herself to an almost unimaginable degree. She puts up a good front to those in her public life but in private, she brings self-loathing to a whole new level.

(Najarra Townsend and Brea Grant in The Stylist)

When Claire is hired to do her friend Olivia’s (Brea Grant) wedding hair, it seems that she might finally be making a real connection with another human being. It appears that this just might be enough to break the murderous hamster wheel she’s trapped in. But director Gevargizian doesn’t give us such an easy way out of Claire’s psychosis.

Does anybody ever really get what they want?

So does Maud (Saint Maud), Enid (Censor) and Claire (The Stylist) get what they want by the end of their respective stories? Well, yes and no.

Directors Rose, Bailey-Bond and Gevargizian leave it up to the audience to decide if their damaged female protagonists achieve their goals by the end of their respective journeys.

Which is only fitting, as these films are as complex as their main characters. These three talented directors have shown audiences that mentally and emotionally challenging characters are not just for men anymore.

Ratings:

Saint Maud: 9.5/10

Censor: 8.5/10

The Stylist: 8/10

Dave Palamaro is a filmmaker known for Murder Made Easy (2019) and In Heaven There Is No Beer (2014).

Movie Review / Blood Red Sky

MOVIE: Blood Red Sky (A Netflix Film)

STARRING: Peri Baumeister, Carl Anton Koch, Alexander Scheer, Kais Setti, Gordon Brown, Dominic Purcell, Graham McTavish

RELEASE DATE: July 23rd, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH: Netflix

By Patrick Nagy

Let me preface this review by stating, I’m not very into horror movies in general. Then again, I don’t know if I would categorize this film as “horror”. It’s more like an action flick with a supernatural twist. There will be a few spoilers, but trust me, there is still plenty of surprises to see.

The Netflix original film Blood Red Sky revolves around Nadja (played by German actress Peri Baumeister) and her son Elias (Carl Anton Koch) traveling from abroad to New York to seek treatment for Nadja’s “condition”. It isn’t fully explained yet what her issue may be as she sneaks off to the bathroom mid-flight to inject herself with some sort of serum, which appears to cause her much pain. The entire experience and journey seem to be very desperate for Nadja.

Somewhere over the Atlantic tragedy strikes when it is revealed some of the passengers and crew aren’t what they appear. In a very gruesome and violent takeover of the plane’s cabin and cockpit, this group of terrorists make their intensions clear that this plane is theirs, and there will be no shenanigans or heroes. The leader of the terrorist group is Berg (played by Prison Break actor Dominic Purcell) and they do an all right job of fleshing out his character, even though he’s a little two dimensional with your classic tropes. For example, forcing prisoners to read a written statement condemning a government or political group, planning to crash the plane in a populated area…you know…terrorist stuff. The more interesting part is his merry band of mercenaries. You have the sensible one, the angry one, the violent one, and then there’s Eightball (played by Alexander Scheer). He’s a real problem. The wild card. The psychotic killer that seems to enjoy inflicting pain and chaos. Unfortunately one of Eightball’s random targets is Nadja’s son Elias. During a scuffle for Elias, Nadja is injured and forced to reveal her secret she’s been fighting so hard to conceal.

Without giving away too much, you can picture the madness that ensues after a full blown Nosferatu style vampire is thrown into your classic hostage film! Picture the 1996 Kurt Russell film Executive Decision meets The Strain.

What I liked most about this movie and the character of Nadja, is the pain she’s going through to save her son and the plane. With every drop of blood, every kill, she’s loses herself a little. She’s afraid of Elias seeing her this way. No hair, fangs, pointed ears, and covered in blood…a monster. Her greater fear is losing him to the disaster that is unfurling.

We do get some flashbacks from time to time of a car break down and an old farm house in the German wilderness. Piece by piece these memories explain how Nadja became this way. They also reveal an ominous warning from an old farmer that she must end this vampire disease for good. This foreshadowing really helps explain who Nadja is (or at least was), and why she is fighting so hard to get back to some sort of normal. It adds a lot of sympathy and strife to her character. Imagine going through an uncertain future not even knowing what you’re becoming or how to stop it. Would you do anything and everything to just feel normal again?

During the battle it becomes very apparent everyone Nadja takes down or consumes her blood will also be infected. She does her best to stop the spread, but you can imagine what happens next. Now our anti-heroine has one more HUGE thing to worry about! How will Nadja save her son (without scaring the living daylights out of him), save the plane, and stop a vampire outbreak! This really takes anyone’s fear of flying to a ridiculous level.

Blood Red Sky may not be for the squeamish, but if you are looking for Action / Thriller plus Vampires, this is the film for you! It was done very well which is saying a lot because you can just picture how badly it could have gone from the pitch meeting to screen.

Shot in English and German overdub, Blood Red Sky is available on Netflix streaming now.

FOUR EYES REVIEW / Willy's Wonderland

Welcome back to another “Four Eyes” review. We take this moment to share 2 opinions on a single geek topic.

Below both Allan and Justin will each dive into what they thought about Nicolas Cage’s movie Willy’s Wonderland. Join us for a LOVE/HATE recap. Let us know your thoughts in the comments or on social media using #foureyesreview

MOVIE: Willy’s Wonderland

STARRING: Nicolas Cage, Emily Tosta, Beth Grant

RELEASE DATE: February 12th, 2021

WHERE TO WATCH (as of July 2021): Hulu

FROM ALLAN DAVID:

Plot: An out-of-towner’s (Nicolas Cage) car runs over police road spikes. He is stuck in an old country town. To pay for the repairs, all he must do is spend the night cleaning up Willy’s Wonderland (a Chuck E Cheese/Five Nights at Freddy’s type of restaurant). The kids in this town sure know how to have a party. Oh, don’t worry, , that’s not blood on the walls that’s fruit punch.

My Thoughts: Nicolas Cage delivers an Oscar worthy performance as The Janitor. In one of his best roles since Raising Arizona, Nick (that’s what his friends call him) gives depth and complexity to the Janitor. He doesn’t utter a word throughout the entire movie. Which is fine by me.  The Janitor faces off against killer robots. No not the Terminator kind, but the soft fluffy kind. The kind you want to have at your kid’s party. Oh wait…

This movie has a little of everything. Angry townsfolk, blood, robots, superb acting by said robots, and lots of laughs, blood, and pinball. Lots and lots of pinball.

Should you watch it? Hell yes!!! Get off your computer right now and watch Willy’s Wonderland!!! 

FROM JUSTIN POMERVILLE:

I first need to preface that I am a huge Nicolas Cage fan. Cage has this uncanny ability to resurrect his career no matter what. With this ability, he has turned out such amazing and interesting films like Mom and Dad, Mandy, and Color Out Of Space. However, he also has been the butt of a lot of jokes because of the volume of films he has made that have been less than stellar. One such film is Willy’s Wonderland.

Willy’s Wonderland had a simple idea: What if Nicolas Cage was in Five Nights At Freddy's? Cage is the silent protagonist who’s vehicle is disabled outside of a tiny town. He is tasked to clean a run-down “Chuck E. Cheese” style joint called “Willy’s Wonderland”. But, what he doesn’t know is that he is locked in overnight with possessed murderous animatronics.

It’s a creative idea for sure but fails to be entertaining. I don’t mind if your main character is a silent, mysterious type. As someone who is viewing this film, usually by the end of the film we would have learned something about our hero. We learn nothing. He spends the whole movie cleaning, playing pinball, drinking a soda every hour, and killing animatronics. The only interesting element to his personality is that killing is nothing to him. He’s not even surprised that there are giant robotic murder machines. They are a minor inconvenience to him, at best.

Between the shaky camera fights, the illogical character choices and confusing dialogue, this movie is definitely not the worst in Cage’s repertoire. Would I watch it again? No way. However, for those of you who do enjoy it (Allan), I’m glad you do. And I have some amazing news for you, Aftershock Comics is making a prequel comic series this fall. Now you have something to look forward to (and hopefully finally some backstory on The Janitor).

"IT": The First Full Trailer

by Matt Spaulding

The first full trailer for new adaptation of Stephen King's classic novel, It, arrived today and it's jammed packed with terror!

Much like in the first teaser, in this trailer we're given a glimpse of the Losers Club: Ben, Beverly, Bill, Eddie, Mike, Stan and Richie as well as Georgie, the catalyst for the Losers' fight against Pennywise. And, of course, Pennywise himself is pretty heavily featured, being the main monster of the movie.

Other story elements introduced in this trailer are Patrick Hockstetter, a bully who falls prey to It, as well as a very quick flash of Henry Bowers and his notorious switch-blade knife. We also get plenty of terror as Pennywise pops out a few times, a very dead Georgie chants "you'll float, too" and flashes of creatures and blood fly across the screen.

And while this trailer is very promising, I still have a few reservations going into this flick. I have read the novel several times, and will probably listen to it all the way through again before the film comes out. It's one of my favorite novels of all time, if not my number one favorite. It is a fantastic horror novel in which very little of the horror comes from the monster. The real horror of It is very deep: it's the horror of losing childhood innocence, of child abuse, of spousal abuse,  of growing old, of racism, of forgetting. It's a novel that affects me deeply on an emotional level and I'm a bit nervous that a lot of the true horror of It will be lost in the jumps scares and blood this trailer promises. But, then again, the true horror of It is pretty hard to convey in a trailer, so it just might be there after all.

Check it out for yourself below and go see It in theaters on September 8th!